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  • Have You Suddenly Lost Your Confidence? Try These Tips to Regain Your Swagger!

    A
    lot of people talk about coping with low self-esteem, but less is said about
    self-esteem that comes and goes. The truth is, when it comes to self-esteem,
    most people fit in the middle of the spectrum, feeling fairly self-confident
    one minute and then anxious the next.

    If
    you can identify with swings in your confidence, here are some ways to cope:

    Understand Emotions Are Your
    Friend

    Though
    it’s not always easy dealing with uncomfortable emotions, understand that they
    are part of our evolved warning system. We all have emotions for a reason, and
    they can be used as helpful guides in our lives, reminding us how we feel about
    things. Sometimes, however, this system can break down (as in the case of
    depression and panic attacks), but generally speaking, our emotions are there
    to help us.

    Sometimes
    a Loss of Confidence is Justified

    Sometimes
    when we have a sudden loss of confidence, it is completely justified. For
    example, you may have started a new job and don’t know all the ropes or players
    on your team. One day you pitch an idea to your new boss and colleagues. Most
    of them react favorably, but one or two people have a negative reaction. That
    negative response is likely to rock you disproportionately because you feel you
    have a lot to prove and want to keep your job.

    Our
    psyche has been designed to react to any kind of uncertainty or mixed signals
    with anxiety. If it weren’t for our ability to find and react to possible
    dangers, human beings would have gone extinct a long time ago.

    The
    moral of the story is, don’t make your loss of confidence even worse by
    chastising yourself for feeling less confident. In many situations, it is a
    common reaction.

    A Loss of Confidence Can
    Help You Make Better Choices

    Often
    when we feel a sudden loss of confidence, it is a signal that we need to make
    better choices. Our intuition is trying to get our attention and let us know,
    “Pssst, you’re not doing it quite right,” or “This wasn’t what you had in
    mind.”

    Instead
    of panicking about your lack of confidence, listen to it to hearwhat it’s
    trying to tell you.

    Some
    common things it might be trying to say are:

    ·      
    Finish
    what you started

    ·      
    Test
    your strategies to see if they are really working

    ·      
    Ask
    for feedback

    Typically,
    our self-confidence comes back as quickly as it left us. But for some, this
    might not always be the case. Some people struggle day to day with low
    confidence because they have underlying low self-esteem. These individuals
    would greatly benefit from working with a therapist to uncover where these
    feelings stem from, and how to manage them in the future.

    If
    you or someone you know lacks self-confidence because of a low self-esteem and
    would like to explore treatment options, please contact me. I’d be more than
    happy to discuss how I may be able to help.

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